#GUMMIES FOR GUT HEALTH

[powergummies12]

ACV Gummies

Are you ready to take control of your health, embark on a path to better weight management, and nurture your gut for overall well-being? If so, we have the perfect solution for you – Apple Cider Vinegar Gummies.

At the heart of these green apple flavoured gummies lies the essence of Apple Cider Vinegar for supporting weight management and promoting digestive health. Every bite is a conscious decision to prioritize your health and wellness. By making ACV Gummies a part of your daily routine, you're taking the first step toward positive transformation from within.

So, why wait? Embrace the power of Apple Cider Vinegar and embark on a journey of wellness, vitality, and transformation that starts right from your core. Your health, your choice.

[survivor-zone]

Apple Cider Vinegar Max Gummies Supports Metabolism & Lean Body Mass

[betterbrand]

BetterGut Probiotic Gummies

[organichealthsolutions]

Is a Multi-Vitamin as Effective as Taking Individual Vitamins?

Are you thinking about adding multi nutrition supplements to your health routine? Multi-vitamins are a great way to boost your intake of several vitamins and nutrients in one convenient pill. They're readily available and affordable, making supplementing your health easier than taking several vitamins individually.

Many manufacturers even produce multivitamins targeted at specific needs and age groups. But is taking a multivitamin as effective as individual supplements?

Filling Nutrient Gaps

Whether or not you benefit from taking multi nutrition supplements depends on your needs and overall health. For most people, multivitamins are just as effective as taking individual vitamins. It may be more effective at filling deficiencies you didn't realize you had.

Multi-vitamins offer a more holistic approach to supplementing your nutritional needs. You can take a single pill to ensure you get everything your body needs. Most aren't fully aware of their daily nutrient intake unless they work closely with a dietician or doctor. Therefore, many have subtle deficiencies they might not know they should address.

In those cases, taking a multivitamin is an effective way to cover all your bases. Even if you get enough other nutrients in the supplement, you fill the necessary gaps to optimize your health. With many options and formulas available, getting what you need is easy without understanding the specifics.

When Multi-Vitamins Aren't as Effective

If you have targeted health concerns, the better choice may be to choose individual supplements. For example, those who are anemic may get guidance from their doctor to take iron daily. Or, people who aren't getting enough vitamin D may need supplements to address related health concerns.

When you know what nutrient deficiencies you experience, getting a multivitamin may provide less potent results. With individual supplements, you can get the precise dosage your doctor recommends. Generally, you can still take a multivitamin to ensure you have the nutrients to stay healthy. But it's wiser to get individual supplements to target the unique health concerns you face.

As always, consult your doctor for guidance. They can recommend vitamins or multivitamins that will benefit you.

Read a similar article about omega 3 gummy supplement here at this page.

[successlifefactory]

Neotonics Review: The Secrets to Skin and Gut Health

In today's fast-paced world, maintaining vibrant skin and a healthy gut can be a challenge. Enter Neotonics, a revolutionary supplement that has caught our attention. In this review, we will delve into the intricacies of this product. We'll discuss its formulation, ingredients, benefits, and pricing. By the end, you'll have all the facts you need to decide if Neotonics is right for you.

Neotonics: A Glimpse into Gut Health and Radiant Skin

The connection between gut health and skin radiance is not new, but Neotonics is taking it to a whole new level. This supplement, available in delightful gummy form, is designed to boost your gut microbiome and reduce the signs of aging on your skin. Let's dive deeper.

Supplement Name: Neotonics

Main Purpose: Promote skin and gut health

Form: Gummies

The Potent Ingredients Behind Neotonics

Neotonics is armed with a proprietary blend of nine plant-based ingredients and a substantial 500 million CFU (Colony-Forming Units) of Bacillus coagulans bacteria. Let's explore these ingredients:

Babchi:

Babchi, also known as Bakuchi, is renowned for treating various skin conditions. Additionally, it can be beneficial for individuals dealing with constipation or irritable bowel syndrome (IBS).

Fenugreek:

Hailing from the Mediterranean, fenugreek is celebrated for its anti-inflammatory and antibacterial properties, thanks to the compound Diosgenin. The gummy form makes it easy to incorporate into your routine.

Inulin:

This prebiotic is the fuel for probiotic bacteria, supporting their growth and balance in your gut. Inulin's journey through your digestive system feeds these beneficial bacteria.

Dandelion Extract:

Dandelion extract brings skin-protecting qualities to Neotonics. Often consumed as a tea, it contributes to overall wellness and longevity.

Bacillus Coagulans:

With 500 million CFUs per gummy, Bacillus coagulans is a powerful probiotic that can help balance your gut microbiome and enhance digestive health.

Lemon Balm:

Lemon balm extract contributes to smoother skin and unclogged pores. It has a history of use in traditional medicine and gut health remedies.

Organic Ceylon Ginger:

This ginger variety multiplies beneficial bacteria and is lauded for its long-term anti-aging effects.

Slippery Elm Bark:

Known for its natural laxative properties, slippery elm bark aids in cleansing toxins from your body, promoting clearer skin.

Organic Lion’s Mane:

A type of mushroom, organic lion’s mane is associated with vitality, health, and overall digestive wellness.

Fennel:

Rich in vitamins, fennel supports digestive health, regularity, and overall well-being.

The Neotonics Experience: How It Works

Neotonics sets out to boost skin cell turnover by nurturing a healthy gut. It's simple – one gummy a day provides your body with a blend of nine ingredients, each working in its unique way to support gut health.

Skin cell turnover is the process of shedding old skin cells and replacing them with younger ones, which keeps your skin looking vibrant. As you age, this process naturally slows down, leading to wrinkles and fine lines. Neotonics steps in by targeting your aging gut, promoting anti-aging effects within, and accelerating skin cell turnover.

Buy Neotonics Direct and Save! Click here =>

What to Expect with Neotonics

The road to radiant skin and a healthy gut begins with Neotonics. To experience noticeable results, consistency is key. It is recommended to continue taking Neotonics gummies for at least 2-3 months. Your commitment will pay off, and the results can last for 1-2 years.

Is Neotonics A Trustworthy Supplement?

Absolutely. Neotonics is a probiotic formula crafted from natural ingredients, including 500 million bacteria and nine plant-based powerhouses. This formulation is rooted in 2023 research linking gut microbes to skin health.

What sets Neotonics apart is its dedication to customer satisfaction. The 60-day money-back guarantee ensures you can try it risk-free. However, be cautious when purchasing, as imitations of Neotonics may cause unwanted side effects. It's best to obtain it exclusively from the official website.

Neotonics vs. Other Skin Health Supplements

Let's draw a quick comparison between Neotonics and a popular anti-aging supplement, Revisil:

SUPPLEMENT FORM:

Neotonics: Gummies

Revisil: Cream

PROMOTE GUT HEALTH:

Neotonics: YES

Revisil: NO

BONUSES:

Neotonics: YES

Revisil: NO

PRICE:

Neotonics: $69 (Editor's Choice)

Revisil: $69

Choosing the Right Neotonics Package

The manufacturer offers various package options to suit your needs:

1 BOTTLE:

1 Bottle of Neotonics (30-day supply) - $69

3 BOTTLES:

3 Bottles of Neotonics (90-day supply) - $177

Includes 2 free bonus eBooks

6 BOTTLES:

6 Bottles of Neotonics (180-day supply) - $294

Includes 2 free bonus eBooks

Neotonics Money Back Guarantee

When you purchase Neotonics from the official website, you're covered by a 60-day money-back guarantee. If you have any concerns about the product, you can request a full refund within 60 days of your purchase. The contact information is readily available on the official website for your convenience.

The Verdict: Neotonics Review

Overall Skin And Gut Health Supplement Score – 4.5

In conclusion, Neotonics is a valuable supplement crafted from potent natural ingredients. It's produced in FDA-inspected, GMP-certified facilities, ensuring top-notch quality and safety.

With Neotonics, you have the chance to revive your skin and gut health while experiencing the satisfaction of a money-back guarantee. The positive feedback from customers further solidifies its status as a reliable product.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is there anyone who shouldn’t consume the Neotonics supplement?

Neotonics is a natural supplement suitable for all ages. However, if you have specific medical conditions, it's advisable to consult with a healthcare professional.

Can people with skin conditions use the Neotonics supplement?

Neotonics is generally safe, but consulting your doctor is wise if you have pre-existing skin conditions or concerns.

Click Here to Purchase Directly from Neotonics

If you're looking for something that will help you burn stubborn bodyfat, check out our review on Alpilean

Scientific References

National Library of Medicine(n.d) Gut–Skin Axis: Current Knowledge of the Interrelationship between Microbial Dysbiosis and Skin Conditions Read More

Medline Plus(n.d)

[nutritionfinder]

Unleashing the Power of Probiotics Supplements: A Deep Dive into Align

🎉 Say hello to your gut's new best friend - Align Probiotics! 🎉 Ever feel like your tummy is hosting a WWE wrestling match? 🤼‍♂️ Or that your digestive system is playing a game of hide and seek with you? 🙈 #Gut #Health #Probiotics #Align

Align Probiotic Supplements. Source: Align Probiotics Ever wondered why your gut sometimes feels like it’s hosting a WWE wrestling match? Or why, despite your best efforts, your digestive system seems to have a mind of its own? Well, my friend, it’s time to introduce you to the world of probiotics, specifically the Align Probiotic supplement. #ad The Gut: Your Second Brain Did you know that…

[tumbleupdeals]

Hey, New Site - Healthy Life Options

[witchee1014]

Get Your Gut in Gear with Prebiotic and Probiotic Gummies!

Say goodbye to bloating, constipation, and digestive discomfort with prebiotic and probiotic gummies! These delicious gummies not only taste great, but also provide a host of health benefits, including improved digestion, boosted immune system, and even b

This post contains affiliate links. When you buy from my links, I earn a commission. Thank you. https://amzn.to/400i5jT Are you tired of feeling like your digestive system is constantly rebelling against you? Are you tired of the endless bloating, gas, and discomfort? Well, have I found the solution for you! Prebiotic and probiotic gummies, baby! I mean, seriously. Have I found the solution?…

[cinnamorollcrybaby]

CAN WE HAVE SOME SMUT FROM YEWWWW PLEASEUHHH WHENEVER YOU HAVE THE TIME AND MOTIVATION AND IDEAS PLEASEUH I'M DYING

Provoked

Tags: obsessed!Toji x fem!Reader, yandere elements if you squint, smut, unprotected sex, breeding kink, daddy kink, somnophilia at the end, nsfw, mdni,

Synopsis: Making Toji jealous probably wasn’t the smartest idea. Now, was it?

An: Following in suit with my theme of jealousy this week lol. You didn’t really give me any other guidelines other than smut soooo I took some creative liberties 😅

“Yeeaahh.. not makin’ doe eyes at him now, are ya?” Toji taunted as his large hand gripped ahold of your chin, forcing your languid gaze to focus on him.

The room was filled with pornographic sounds of Toji’s cock effortlessly sliding in and out of your wet heat. Your voice is high-pitched and whiny — a telltale sign that he’s already made you cum a few times.

“T-toji.. I can’t… ah~ please, I’m sorry.” You’re barely able to form your own thoughts as he mercilessly pounds himself into your weeping cunt.

You should’ve been wiser than to make Toji jealous on purpose, and you should’ve never even thought about making him jealous with his own handler, Shiu Kong.

Toji’s anger had been building all day long. He was barely holding himself together when your hand brushed against Shiu’s shoulder. You looked up at his handler with bedroom eyes that should only be reserved for him.

Toji’s hand slides down, and he grips the sides of your throat adding a bit of pressure as he continues his harsh thrusts. The entire bed was creaking and moving from the furiousness he was fucking you with.

“Nah… not good enough.” Toji laughs, and he leans in closer to your face. He’s always been a man who prefers bending you over to fuck you from behind, but today, he needs to see those pretty tears in your eyes. He needs to see you looking at him like he was the only man on this earth. Hence why he has you in a full mating press.

"I should kill him for looking at you like he did. Gouge his eyes out for looking at my woman. My. Woman."

“Fuck.. fuck.. ah~” You’re a complete babbling mess underneath him. “Too much, T-toji… mmph~ it’s too much!!”

“You always say that, and you always end up taking more anyways.” Toji casually laughs. He loves bringing you to the brink of breaking just to nurse you back to health afterwards. You need him — not a man like Shiu. Shiu wouldn't take care of you like this. He couldn't cherish and fuck your cunt like Toji could.

“So just shut up.. and take this dick like a good girl, yeah?” His hand wraps tightly around your hip, forcing you back into the mattress while his hips start to snap forward harder, nearly knocking the breath out of you with each thrust.

"Oh fuck-! Tojii~.. mmmph.." You can't hold back your noises. His dick feels like it's trying to touch you womb with how he has your body folded like a pretzel.

"Maybe I should breed this cute cunt, huh? Make your tummy all... ngh... nice and round with my baby. No man will be able to look at ya without... mmf-... knowin' I've been deep in your guts." Toji knows you're getting overstimulated as fat tears slips down your cheeks. His tongue darts out, and he savors the taste of your complete submission to him.

"G-gonna cum..." You whimper quietly. Your hands are fisting and pulling at the bedsheets, trying to cope with the immense pressure building up from his cock bumping into all the right places.

"Cum on my cock, baby. Cum on daddy's fat cock. I've got you." He coos so lovingly as if he isn't rudely shoving his full length in and out of you. Your sopping wet folds accept him in each and every time.

Toji feels his head start to spin as he feels your gummy walls squeeze around him so deliciously. "Gonna give you my baby.. you want that?"

"P-please Toji!" Your back arches up off the bed, and you hold your breath until your orgasm finally crashes over you.

"Aw, did you just cum again? Must really want me to breed ya." Toji's thrusts start to become sloppier, and his brain is so fixated on the idea of cumming inside you. He can't even think straight. He needs to see your tummy bulging with his cum.

"Gonna make you a pretty mommy. Ngh~" His cock twitches violently inside you as cum erupts from his tip, filling you up to the brim. His breath is shaky as he looks down at your poor exhausted expression.

"You alright there, mama?" He asks tenderly, as he slowly allows for your legs to slide off his shoulders.

"Mhmm.. just tired." You murmur back to him, barely able to keep your eyelids open.

"Get some rest, ma. I'm just gonna give you a bit more of my cum... to make sure it takes, yeah?" He presses a wet kiss to your temple, and in your drowsy state, you can already feel him start to slowly pump himself in and out of you. He's careful not to wake you. After all, you're going to need all your energy to carry his baby <3

[powergummies12]

The Connection Between Your Gut Health and Your Brain

In the discussion around health, the importance of gut health is often undervalued. But the gut is essentially a silent superhero inside us. Let’s unpack in simple terms how a healthy gut can lead to a healthy mind and better overall well-being.

For those unfamiliar with the topic, this blog will shed light on how crucial our gut is for nearly every aspect of health. Much like a friendly chat over tea, we’ll break down the secrets of the gut and how tending to its needs can help transform your health from the inside out.

Understanding the Gut-Brain Connection:

Picture your gut as a busy city filled with trillions of friendly gut microbes. These tiny gut residents are vital for keeping digestive balance. Now here’s the fascinating part – this “city” speaks directly to your brain!

Believe it or not, your gut and brain are always communicating, sending messages back and forth that affect your mood, emotions and overall wellness. So all those microbes influence much more than just your digestion. This gut-brain dialogue impacts nearly every aspect of your health.

The Gut Microbes:

The microbes in your gut are like little conductors directing an orchestra inside you. They produce chemical messengers called neurotransmitters that influence your emotions. One example is serotonin, the famous “feel good” neurotransmitter. It’s mostly created in the gut before reaching your brain.

When your gut is healthy, it makes more serotonin, leading to a better, more stable mood. So all those tiny gut microbes help control whether you feel happy or sad each day based on the messages they send to your brain.

Feeding Your Brain's Buddies:

The gut does more than just digest food. It also absorbs key nutrients your brain needs to work properly. Your gut draws in essential vitamins, minerals, fats and more that get transported to your brain. Without these building blocks from your diet, your brain can’t perform optimally. So a well-nourished brain that functions at its best relies on a healthy gut to deliver exactly what it craves. Keeping your gut in good shape ensures it can supply the right ingredients for a happy, balanced mind.

Gut Health and Mental Health:

If you’re wondering how the gut connects to mental health, here’s the reason. People with digestive problems often have higher anxiety and depression. Taking care of your gut health may help avoid some mental health issues, allowing a more holistic approach to wellness. So illness below the waistline goes hand-in-hand with sickness between the ears. A happy belly prevents the gut and brain from both going out of control. That’s why paying attention to your tummy also pays off for your state of mind!

Introducing Apple Cider Vinegar Gummies – Your Gut's Tasty Companions

Now let’s explore a fun, delicious way to support good gut health – apple cider vinegar gummies! These gummy supplements act like little gut superheroes, but make boosting digestion enjoyable.

These gummies are not only infused with apple cider vinegar but also contain the benefits of beetroot and pomegranate extract, along with Vitamin B9 and Vitamin B12. Beetroot extract helps in lowering total cholesterol, while pomegranate extract promotes digestive health. Vitamin B9 contributes to the production of DNA and RNA, while Vitamin B12 supports the health of the body's blood cells and nerve cells.

Just like having a tasty treat each day, they provide an easy, hassle-free option for people wanting better gut health without the typical tonics. The apple cider vinegar has been encapsulated into sweet, green apple flavored bite-sized heroes that go to work strengthening your gut microbiome from the inside out.

In Conclusion:

Your gut is like the conductor of an orchestra for your health. It brings together your digestion and brain to work in harmony. Understanding this amazing link is the key to having a happier brain and healthier you.

As we finish talking about gut health, let's celebrate the gut microbes - the unrecognized heroes that work hard to keep us balanced. When eating apple cider vinegar gummies, remember - a happy gut moves you towards a more joyful, energetic life. Cheers to caring for your gut and enjoying the vitality it gives your mind, body and spirit! 

[gladiatorcunt]

- # ROMANS 8:7 !!

“because the mind of the flesh is hostile to god: it does not submit to god’s law, nor can it do so.”

cw: implied plus size & southern afab!reader, xmen 1 coded logan but also different, large age gap (reader early 20’s, logan…. not), implied mental health & abandoment issues, drug & alchohol mentions, consensual somno (not discussed but logan’d be down with whatever you wanted), dad/father figure bf behavior and talk (kiddo, controlling your sleep schedule, heavy daddy kink & calling him your old man, calls fucking you “feeding you” etc.), heavy werewolf/animals in general allusions & imagery (?), reader is lowkey unhinged, reader doing some solo a/b/o roleplay lol, kind of self objectification/degradation vibes due to underlying trauma, gentle dead dove like if the dove perched on a bitter old man’s dirt covered shoulder and wouldn’t leave, more of a moment in time

1k event. / please consider commissioning me!

Stubble against your lips is a damn fine way to wake up in the morning, you think with a dazed smile. The scent of the beard shampoo you have Logan use smells better than a whole poppy field ever could. There are lingering traces of cigar smoke hovering over his slightly chapped lips, but not as heavy anymore, he’s trying to quit relying on them so much. A gruff sentiment about wanting to make sure he has a better chance of sticking around to keep an eye on you, or something like that.

You were falling asleep on his sweaty abs when he said it like he was getting his teeth pulled out, but there’s merit in the fact that he could’ve cut himself off. It’s important to him to try to be better at verbalizing the feeling burning in his battered gut like a glass of whiskey on the rocks. You’d take him with open arms and open legs even if he was a worse man than the devil.

You reach down and lift his hefty hands to your still swollen lips and kiss his knuckles like you’re trying to suck his claws out of his skin and into your mouth. A painless operation, you’re used to the feeling of blades against your skin, housing them in your stomach would mean nothing if it meant you could take some of the hurt away from him. It feels like that’s your job sometimes, to jump through as many hoops as possible so that you bear the brunt of the weight Logan’s forced to deal with on a daily basis.

He stops that train of thought in its tracks when you express it, what kind of dad would he be if he let you get even a single scratch? Maybe there’s to be said for a rough and tough kind of guy getting to nurse a kitten back to health, to keep it tucked away in the crook of their muscular arm never to see the light of day without them.

You don’t offer to keep his claws sheathed safely in your pussy either, you’d lick your own blood off the ends when they eventually push through your mouth. A cock sleeve in a different outfit, daddy’s little helper. But then you see the way Logan’s face belies a sense of peace, his forehead wrinkles and the fine lines around his mouth aren’t nearly so pronounced because this is the rare moment in which he finds no reason to scowl. You know you’re worth more than a nyquil infused pussy to him, but this is where you find your use. This is how you feel content, gummy walls suckling on his fat tip because even when you’ve put your old man to bed you can’t get enough.

Logan thinks he’s just so awful, the big bad wolf slobbering on an innocent lamb’s cherry pie-sweet cunt, but you might be worse. You’d your feet and throw a fit if his nose even twitched catching the scent of someone else, you’d do far worse things than what he’s already done to keep this toe curlingly grumpy man snoring a crater into your silk pillows. You feel like a rabid chihuahua nipping at his heels to keep him inside and with you, where it’s warm and wet and there’s no death other than the little ones you experience over and over like a perverted groundhog day. He’s the only one you trust with you doing you prone bone, having faith that he’ll shield you from all the things in the world that aren’t Daddy and the cozy sticky life he provides for you.

Calloused fingers strangling your tits in the morning, your ass bent over his lap in the evening while he sits back in his recliner and soothes the sting. You’d been sick to your stomach before you met him, wandering up and down the road in New York because you insisted you could make this big move and do it all on your own. Then his denim blue pick up rumbled its way down the broken road and you’ve never looked back since.

Your heart was beating faster than a hummingbird when he rolled his eyes and pushed the passenger side door open with one hand, like you were lucky he didn’t drive off and leave you in the dirt. You had the stray thought of offering him a blow job or a tit fuck to make it worth his while, but he was squirming around to tug off his brown leather jacket and toss it at you before you could move a muscle.

Poor little kitty, last one in the box all alone in the cold. Someone wanted you though, and over time your hisses and scratches turned to cat-that-got-the-cream-AND-the-canary wails and voracious frisking.

He ‘tsks’ and bites his cheek on the days where the guilt creeps in, and you know he just can't accept that this is what you want. That you saw his maw open wide and dripping with blood-cum-tissue-bone-spittle and hopped right on the center of his dusty rose pink tongue like a good bunny.

In your daydreams the appendage is so long he can choke you with the tip of it, wrap it around you and get his unique slime and grime absorbed into the hollow of your throat. You wish he had a knot too, so he could plug you up and you’d have no choice but to take it and be so grateful that Daddy thought you were worthy of being bred and speared and kept.

God, you’d never wanted to have somebody’s baby so much. But you’re selfish too, so you don’t mind this time spent together, just the two of you. That’s a blessing in and of itself and you’ve learned not to question the rare good things in life that you’re allowed to have. The powers that be decided he’s yours and you’re his and you’ll tie your leash to his hand if that ensures he can never change his mind about taking a chance on you. If he can’t run like you tried to do when you realized he might actually love you back, that he wasn’t content to just be a dirty fantasy you had when you were alone on your trailer bed. That for the first time in your life, what you need needs you too, or wants to entertain you at the very least.

You don’t want to run anymore, and all of the credit goes to Logan recognizing that you were just a stray cat who needed someone that wouldn’t let them dart out the door at the first sign of discomfort. He forced you to be known so you could be loved and there’s no going back to a life without that, not for you. Not without being to hold Daddy’s hand when that same feeling of flight or flight knocks on your skull. Maybe you’re spiraling again because you feel empty, you said no to cockwarming the previous night because you didn’t want to be too needy. You think your pussy might’ve bitten his dick off to keep inside of it like a trophy if you followed your usual routine.

Now you’re realizing why you hardly ever say no to giving your pussy time to breathe. How can you feel whole if Daddy’s not sighing in relief when he slides home for the first time again? You remember that you're your own person like this and you hate it, you don’t belong to you, you belong to him.

So you bite your lip and slowly bring yourself up to straddle his torso, humping his abs for a second before reaching behind you and lining up your aching cunt with his already half hard prick. You get overwhelmed already, so excited and antsy and ready to greet Daddy at the door that you bounce without actually bringing your plush hips all the way down.

‘Want that knot, want it want it want it want it, fuck fuck FUCK!’

You cry when the bulbous and thick fucking tip eases into you followed by the rest of him, you can’t help it. You missed him so much, and you’re not only thinking about Logan when you say that. Trust Daddy to actually have a horse’s cock most men overcompensate for not having, long and girthy and an angry purplish-red and surrounded by a black bush and more than deserving of never being left alone for a single second.

He woke up as soon as you started grinding against him in your sleep, but he knows you’d get embarrassed if he let it slip now. Logan could open his brown eyes and say ‘I told you so, kiddo’ but he can do that after his hardening cock pushes into your cervix. A welcome home kiss for his fussy little thing, he doesn’t feel right until he cracks his eyelids halfway and peeks through to see your own roll back in otherworldly rapture.

“That’s it, right where it belongs, ain’t it doll?”

Yes, yes it is.

“Fuckin’ cum on it and then get y’r ass back to bed, y’r gonna get cranky if you stay up any later. Gotta keep you fed, get some cock in that belly, keep you fat.”

- 2024, do not copy/translate/train ai with my work

[savventeen]

you say the stupidest (sweetest) things

pairing: seungkwan x gn!reader rating: 16+ (for swearing) wc: 4.5k prompt: seungkwan + "things you said at 1am" summary: you say stupid shit on the best of days, so when seungkwan comes over when you're having a bad bout of insomnia, the last thing he expects to hear from you is an accidental love confession warnings: insomnia, mental health issues, dissociation mention tags: fluff, friends to lovers, first kiss, reader is a little unhinged but who isn't tbh, they're also highkey allergic to genuine expressions of love/affection but they're working on it, banter, stimming, wrestling like children to try and work through emotions, reader is some flavor of lgbt+ (they make an "i've never done anything straight in my life" joke), reader's pov is dramatic bc they're dramatic oops a/n: this is for @dokyeomin as a part of my emergency commissions (check out the post here) and this was only supposed to be 1k but it 100% got away from me... i hope you still enjoy the fluff and all of the attached nonsense <3

From: Y/n 🔪 [11:47pm]

yo kwannie if i impulsively decide to go to the 24h convenience store how harshly do u think they'll jusdge me for buying every flavor of gummy candy available *judge i wanna see if i can melt them down into one Ultimate Gummy u know for Science

Seungkwan pauses brushing his teeth and stares down at your messages.

To be fair, it's probably not the strangest thing you've ever texted him. He's known you since your second year of college, after all, so he has about half a decade of experience with all of your various y/n-isms under his belt now.

Which is how he knows to trust his gut when it tells him that this probably isn't your usual brand of nonsense.

He spits the toothpaste into the sink and dials your number. You answer on the second ring.

“Before you say anything,” you start, “I was only half-serious about the gummies thing. Like, it's a fun idea, you know? In theory. But in actuality? I do not want to deal with the mess that it would create. Or the smells. Well, the smells might actually be pretty good depending on—“

“Uh-huh,” he interrupts dryly. “Y/n, when's the last time you slept?”

The beat of silence that follows is enough to confirm his suspicions, and the hesitant “Um” that follows is just the icing on the cake, really.

He sighs. “The fact that you have to think about it says enough.”

“I don’t need to think about it,” you argue petulantly. “I just… don’t wanna tell you.”

“Y/n...” he groans, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Look, I know, I'm sorry.” And you do sound a little bit sorry, at least. “I'm just. Having an episode. Don't worry about it.”

His shoulders droop as the words sink in. “Episodes” are what you've taken to calling your intermittent bouts of serious insomnia.

Generally speaking, you sleep about as well as the average twenty-something with a caffeine addiction. But every few months or so, it's like your brain completely forgets how to shut off and you end up staying awake for 40+ hours straight.

“Well,” he says, putting his toothbrush away and going back to his bedroom. “You know that ship has sailed, right? You know I'm gonna worry about it.”

Your deep sigh crackles over the line. “Yeah, I know.”

“So. Where're we at this time?”

He mentally braces himself. The two of you have done this enough times now that he knows that you know there's no point in trying to lie or beat around the bush.

“Uhhhhhhh, I'll be hitting the 46-hour mark in about 20 minutes.”

“Aish.”

The fact that you can say that so casually makes his heart hurt. He knows that whenever he doesn't get enough sleep, he makes sure everyone knows it and thus babies him accordingly. But you've always been so intent on hiding anything and everything you struggle with. It's taken years for him to bully himself past the walls you keep hidden behind shit-eating grins and an over-willingness to help.

“Okay,” he says, moving to the dresser to grab an extra set of clothes. “I'll be over in an hour.”

“Wait. What?”

“You heard me.” He tosses the clothes onto his bed before going to grab one of his duffle bags, firmly asserting, “You've got an hour to mentally prepare yourself for my arrival.”

“Honey, you've got a big storm comin',” you quote at him without hesitating.

“You sure do,” he assures with a snort. “Better get ready to feel the wrath of my friendship.”

“Why do you have to love so aggressively?”

He rolls his eyes while he throws his clothes into the duffle bag with one hand. “Because it's the only way you'll accept it, idiot.”

“No, it isn't.”

Your pout is so audible through the phone that Seungkwan has to stop and glance at the screen in disbelief.

“Y/n. Y/n L/n. Do not stand there and lie to my face like that.”

“I'm not lying!”

“Not—” He gesticulates wildly with one hand like he's going Can you believe this shit? to an invisible TV audience. “Okay, tell me this: what did you do the last time I sincerely monologued at you about how much you mean to me as a friend, hmm? No bits, no bullshit, just me telling you how much I love you and how amazing you are.”

A beat. “I'll hang up on you, Kwannie, don't test me.”

He barely resists the urge to shove his face into the bedspread and scream. “You're literally proving my point right now!”

“Kwannieeee,” you whine, because you know he's right.

“Also, because I'm never letting you live it down, I will remind you exactly what you did."

You say his name again, but it's muffled, and he assumes it's because you're hiding your face in shame.

“I gave you a sincere, heartfelt speech about how much your friendship has changed my life for the better and made me become a better person—” he ignores your wordless pterodactyl screech, “—and how do you respond? By staring at me like a deer caught in the headlights, slowly raising your arms to give me double finger guns, winking, and then slowly backing out of the room like an awkward mannequin!”

“...”

“Well?” He puts his free hand on his hip. “Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

“… I’ve changed a lot since then.”

Seungkwan rolls his eyes before moving to continue packing his overnight bag. “It was literally three months ago.”

“Yeah, and? Doesn't change the fact that I've changed,” you assert.

“Into even more of a nuisance? Yes, you're absolutely right.” He smiles when he hears you scoff playfully.

“Listen here, Boo Seungkwan. You know that well-rested Y/n is ready to throw down with you at a moment's notice. What do you think sleep-deprived, zero-impulse-control Y/n is going to do the second you get to their front door?”

“Stop referring to themself in the third person, hopefully,” he mutters, finally zipping up his bag and heading to the door. “And then after that, they're going to let me bully them into resting.”

“Hmm. The council has heard your proposal, briefly pondered it, and deemed it “unnecessary” on the basis of: they're a bad bitch that can't be stopped by neither time nor physics nor any god of your choosing.”

Seungkwan scoffs as he puts the call on speaker and sits to put on his sneakers. “Well, “the council” can go fuck right off.”

“What if the council would like to fuck right on?”

Pausing in the middle of tying his laces, he blinks down at his phone. “I'm— what?”

“Okay, real talk, what do you think it would mean in this case? Like, would this be like a 'hop on' versus 'hop off' situation? Or more like an 'I'm down for this' versus 'I'm up for this' kinda situation? Because it would have very different outcomes depending.”

Seungkwan decides that this is a debate better left for another time. “I think it means that I'm going to be at your house soon and that if you're not in your pajamas with hot Sleepy Time tea and the series Planet Earth ready to go, there will be consequences.”

“Booooooo, you whore.”

He finishes tying his laces and jabs his finger at the phone. “Consequences, Y/n.”

“Ugh, fine.”

“See you soon, love you, bye.” He hangs up before you can get another word in, but doesn't move from his seated position in the entryway.

Slowly, he takes a deep breath in and lets it out, taking a moment to lean back on his hands while he stares at the back of his front door. Specifically, at the large collage of sticky notes and pictures and doodles that have taken up residence there.

A few of the notes are ones he's gotten from other members of your shared friend group over the years (the one from Chan that reads "if u eat my rice i'll eat ur kneecaps xoxo" hangs proudly in the center, right next to a picture of him sleeping that Seungkwan managed to capture from an extremely unflattering angle). But most of them are from you.

Dumb puns, meme references, bullshit animal facts you made up just to get him to laugh… almost all of them are stupid in that extremely charming way that only you somehow manage to pull off.

But the one he's staring at now is almost completely hidden by other notes and pictures that have been added to the collage. It's a pale blue, the ink starting to fade a bit with time — the first note you ever gave him, back when you two were just people who happened to sit next to each other in an astronomy class.

Even though most of it is hidden, he doesn't need to be able to see all the tiny words you crammed into the small space to already know exactly what it says.

how do u make a space party? u planet :P u looked sad today, hope this makes u feel a little better also if this is 2 forward feel free 2 pretend i don't exist. or punt me in2 the sun idk u'd be doing me a favor tbh

He'd almost skipped class that day because of how bad he'd been feeling, but he'd decided to try and push through. And before that day, neither of you had interacted with more than a polite greeting and the occasional question about the homework.

But then you'd passed him that note, and he'd passed one back that said “that's dumb. but thank you” with a smiley face, and you'd passed another one back that said “do u think lizard people have ever been to space?” and the rest, they say, is history.

Seungkwan shakes his head with a sigh before standing up and grabbing his bag and his keys, striding determinedly out the door. He's got a best friend to take care of.

Seungkwan should be at your place soon, and you're not quite sure what to do in the meantime.

You have your laptop hooked up to the monitor in the living room with Planet Earth queued up, you have the kettle filled with water and ready to go on the stove, and you have mugs and teabags ready on the counter next to it.

The Required Tasks™️ have been completed as much as possible without the arrival of your best friend, and now all that's left to do is wait.

Which, normally, you're not the worst at. You're excellent at entertaining yourself, actually, mostly because there's always something to think about. Whether it be about cute dogs that you've seen over the past week (I wonder if the pomeranian down the street will let me pet him next time), potential plot twists for the new fantasy drama you're a little bit obsessed with (what if Gregothy was cursed the whole time???), or generic ponderings of the human existence as a whole (do souls have the metaphysical equivalent of a fingerprint?), you're pretty much always thinking about something.

Which is totally fine and dandy and cool or whatever when you have the ability to, you know, shut it off. For example, when you need to do something simple and necessary like, oh I don't know, go the fuck to sleep.

You also hate when that manic mental energy somehow translates into kinetic energy as well. It makes you feel like a hamster in a cage, watching yourself running and running and running on that stupid wheel until you exhaust yourself.

Tonight's metaphorical wheel: stimming like wild in the kitchen. Flapping, rocking, (gently) slapping, making weird and fun mouth sounds, the whole shebang.

And again, normally stimming is fun. Stimming is great. But stimming because you feel like if you don't stop moving you're going to literally vibrate out of your skin is, to put it lightly, Not It.

It takes you about ten minutes to work out all of the energy until you no longer feel like your blood was replaced with pop rocks.

With a groan, you lower yourself to the kitchen floor and lay down face first. Because despite how exhausted you feel in every possible way, there's still something like an itch in your conscious, a fucking pea underneath the miles of mattresses that refuse to let you just. Fucking. Sleep.

Your pity party must've lasted longer than you realized (or, more likely, you dissociated for a hot second there) because suddenly someone's knocking at your door at the same time you get a text from Seungkwan.

And you know it's a text from Seungkwan specifically because you got Vernon to help you change your notification settings so that whenever Seungkwan texts you, the "i love you.. bitch" sound clip plays instead of a normal text tone.

For a fraction of a second, you contemplate slowly inching your way to the door like an uncoordinated caterpillar, but you swat the thought aside like you’re swatting a gnat and you awkwardly roll to your feet and make your way to your front door.

Without hesitating, you unlock the door, swinging it open with a flourish and sticking a finger right in Seungkwan's face before he can utter a single syllable, forcing him to cross his eyes.

You open your mouth wide like you're going to say something, pause for a moment, then tap your pointed finger to his nose with a quiet "boop."

He blinks, expression turning deadpan, and sighs. "I should have expected this, honestly."

“Yep!”

You let him into your apartment, and he makes himself right at home, mildly bitching at you as he goes to get the tea ready, and something within you shifts.

The inside of your head is still a bit of a dumpster fire, unfortunately, but inside your chest... something clicks into place that you're not sure that you're ready to name. Whatever it is, though, it's soft and warm and kinda feels like your heart is being hugged.

Smiling to yourself, you follow him into the kitchen.

💤 💤 💤 💤 💤

It was pretty much straight to “business” after that, and it only takes Seungkwan one cup of tea and two episodes listening to David Attenborough's dulcet narrations for him to knock right out, leaning heavily against your shoulder on the couch.

Which means it's now the perfect time to sit there and Admire Your Bro™️.

It's rare to see him so still, you think. He's an active guy, in pretty much every sense of the word, and you always feel a little honored when you get to be witness to his quiet, vulnerable moments like this one.

He looks so serene, face smoothed out and painted in soft twirling shades of blue from the screen of the monitor, though you can't see too much of it from this angle. Mostly you just see his cheeks and stupidly adorable button nose.

And you've seen the same thing a million times before — in all kinds of states and expressions — and despite how much you've tried to ignore it, each and every time you've caught yourself noticing just how cute Seungkwan is, it's caused that thing in your heart to scrunch up, full of the L-word feeling that you've kept unnamed for what feels like forever now.

Except, maybe that thing in your heart is tired of scrunching up. Maybe it's decided that it's tired of forever.

Maybe that thing has finally decided to burrow itself out of the walls you've built up because you find yourself finally allowing yourself to think, Holy shit, I think I'm in love with you.

You don't realize that Seungkwan has completely stilled against you, but you certainly notice when he suddenly throws himself forward so he can turn around and stare at you incredulously. Only he overshoots a little bit and ends up falling off the couch with a squawk and a dramatic flail.

"Oh my god, Kwannie are you okay?!"

He stares at you from where he fell, wide-eyed like you've grown a second head or like the time you'd tried to convince him that birds weren't real and actually just a government conspiracy.

"Am— am I okay? No??"

Now it's your turn to move off of the couch, coming down to his level to see if maybe he hurt himself when he fell. "Fuck, okay, did you hit something? Do you need an icepack?"

Seungkwan being Not Okay is maybe one of the worst things that could ever happen in the entire universe and you're trying not to panic as you reach out to check for injuries.

"No, no, stop—" he bats away at your hands and you stop in your motions, now kneeling in front of him. "I'm not hurt!"

Your brain does the cartoonish screech thing as it comes to a halt, and you furrow your brows. "But.. you just said you're not okay?"

"I'm not!" His eyes are still wide in shock, but he also looks confused and maybe a little bit like he's about to cry?

Oh no. If he cries and it's somehow your fault (because it has to somehow be your fault) you think the world might actually end.

"Okay, uh. I am— confused,” you start, sure you must look as lost as you feel. “But, um, what can I do to help?"

He swallows, and a part of you realizes that he's looking at you with an expression you've never seen before. "Did you mean it?"

Knowing that it's significant but not yet knowing why, you maintain eye contact. "Mean what?"

"What you just said."

You blink. "...that I'm confused?"

He shakes his head. "No, before that."

You have a hard time remembering what you just said when you're not sleep-deprived and worried you've just somehow accidentally caused irreparable emotional damage to your best friend. "Uh... when I asked if you were okay?"

"No, fuck," and it's a shock for some reason, hearing him cuss right now. You hear him say much worse things all the time, but you think it might be the way he said it — with a kind of desperate vulnerability that you're not sure you've ever heard from him before.

That thing in your chest twinges and you think maybe you're the one who's gonna start crying.

He says your name like a plea, and then he's on his knees right in front of where you're kneeling on the floor, reaching forward to cup your face in his palms. "You said— Y/n, you said "holy shit I think I'm in love with you.””

Oh.

You're pretty sure your heart falls right out of your ass and bounces across the rug, judging from the way it comes to a dead stop. You blink at him. Full of new and sinking kind of dread, you whisper, "...I said that out loud?"

He laughs, but it's tinged with incredulity and sounds a little too close to a sob for comfort. "Yes! You did!"

And wait, no, your heart is still stuck in your chest, because you can feel it start pounding against your ribcage in double, triple, quadruple time. He must see the fear in your expression, because suddenly his eyes are narrowed in a determined scowl and he growls, "Oh no you don't."

Then you find yourself going down with a yelp as Seungkwan octopuses himself around you, trapping you within the confines of his surprisingly strong arms and legs as he basically tackles you to the floor.

You try and wiggle away even as you know it's useless, and he grits, "Y/n dammit, answer my question."

"Why were you even awake?” You deflect, getting an arm free and trying to give him a wedgie. “You were supposed to be asleep!"

"I was supposed to be asleep?!” He screeches, easily evading your reach and poking your ribs to get you to reflexively pull back your arm. “You're the one who hasn't slept in literal days! And stop avoiding my question!"

"No!" He has you trapped once again, and you resort to licking his arm.

"Oh my god!"

He muffles his scream into your shoulder, long and frustrated, and then he just... goes limp. He loosens his hold and just lets his full body weight kinda crush the parts of you he's ended up lying on and just... lays there.

This is your chance, you know — to wiggle free and escape and run away from your feelings just like you always have.

But, for some reason, you don't — that scrunched-up thing in your chest holds you back. You stay there, lying beneath Seungkwan on the floor of your living room at one-something in the morning, and the two of you just breathe.

"It's okay, you know," he murmurs after a moment, so quiet you barely hear him over David Attenborough still narrating softly in the background. "If you didn't mean it. It's okay."

Holy shit, I think I'm in love with you.

And you realize how easy it would be to play it off, to blame it on the sleep deprivation, the way you blurted it out like that — to say (to lie) you meant it completely platonically, like the way you propose to Mingyu at least once a month when he cooks you all dinner.

And you also realize, quite shockingly, that despite how a part of you still desperately wants to run away, the larger part of you wants to stay. Doesn't want to run. Doesn't want to lie anymore.

You swallow heavily, briefly close your eyes, and take in a deep breath. "And if I did? Mean it?"

This time, you do notice when Seungkwan goes still. Slowly, he lifts his head so he can look you in the eyes.

When he doesn't say anything, just continues to look at you with an unreadable expression, you try to continue.

"Would you— would that— would it be okay? If I meant it? When I— when I said that I'm in love with you? Is— because um, like you said, it's okay if it's not, and uh—"

Your nervous rambling comes to a stop when he once again cups your face, but it's gentler than before, closer to a caress. The whole time you'd been talking he'd been slowly sitting up, and now he's on his knees next to where you're still lying down on the floor, looking down at you like all the hope in the world is somewhere to be found in your expression.

"Y/n." he says your name like it's something precious, and you feel the absurd urge to burst into tears. "It would be very okay." His thumbs make gentle arcs across your cheeks. "And just to be clear: you mean it in a non-platonic sense, right?” He chews on his lip. “Hopefully, in a very much romantic sense?"

Staring at him staring at you, eyes bright with hope and a little bit of wonder... you can only imagine you must be looking at him the same way. Your chest feels like it's full of helium but also like something warm and gooey is sloshing around in there. And all that hope and wonder and holy shit is this actually happening? is causing your tongue to stick to the roof of your mouth, and all you're able to get past your lips is a breathless, "Hopefully?"

"Oh my god," he groans in frustration, but it's light and airy and makes you think of amusement park rides and fairy lights and how you want to annoy the shit out of this man for the rest of his life, if he'll let you. He's shaking his head, smiling, beaming, and he asks, "Why can you never give me any kind of a straight answer, huh?"

"Because it's my life's purpose to be the bane of your existence until the day we die," you say, reaching up to hold his face too. "Also because I've never done anything straight ever in my life."

And then your body is moving before your brain can think it though, dragging him down until you can press your lips to his and finally, finally know what it's like to kiss Boo Seungkwan.

He makes a little noise of surprise, one that you can feel buzz against your lips before he melts into you. And oh, any thoughts you might have had are forcefully ejected from your brain because all you can focus on are his lips pressed to yours, the way they move slowly, gently, turning this chaste kiss into the most scorching experience of your life. His nose bumps against yours and the heat of his warm breath sends tingles throughout your body, and his hands, fuck, his hands are still holding you gently but also with a firmness that feels like he doesn't want to let you go.

And then he's pulling away, and you whine at him because this may be the cruelest thing he's ever done to you ever in your entire life. "Noooooo, why'd you stop?"

"Because, as much as I'd love to continue to make out with you on your floor while an old British man narrates about life on the Serengeti—” he mercifully ignores the way you choke on your spit at the way he talks about making out with you so nonchalantly "—it's past someone's bedtime."

Your mouth drops open in offended shock. Was he actually going to put you to bed like a child? Like you both hadn't just declared your romantic love for each other? "Are you fucking serious?"

He just stands up and crosses his arms, looking down at you with a single raised eyebrow. You take the part of you that finds it annoyingly attractive and promptly smother it, crossing your own arms from your position on the floor.

"I'm not a baby," you definitely don't pout.

"Hmmm...” And then the bastard fucking pouts at you. “But you're my baby."

You blink at him.

"Welp, that was nice while it lasted,” you grunt, rolling to your feet, “but I suddenly need to relocate to Antarctica and become a penguin herder.”

He pulls you into his arms with a laugh, and you let him, burying your face in the crook of his shoulder.

“You know,” he starts after he's held you for a few moments. “This isn't how I ever imagined how us confessing to each other would go.”

You snort.

“But also,” he continues, “it feels very 'us' doesn't it?”

"Yeah,” you murmur, not bothering to lift your head from his shoulder.

“Mmm, is someone finally sleepy?” he teases, starting to waddle you both towards your bedroom. “Did all the emotions finally wear you out?”

Instead of nodding, you lightly kick him in the shin and the sappy part of your brain that is currently in charge of everything thinks that his indignant squawk is one of your most favorite sounds.

The sappy part of your brain is right, of course, and when you wake up in your bed 15 hours later and accidentally smack him in the face, the urge to run is a little bit smaller than it was before. And the way he flushes bright red after you sleepily kiss him on the cheek is an image you're going to cherish until the day you die.

[total-karma]

okay, so we know that julia is the type of person who can stomach literally anything disgusting because of s1e8. she also ran a wellness blog/page/instagram account where she definitely at some point drank some bullshit immune-system-boosting gut-health green smoothies and downed handfuls of 'healthy hair-growth vitamin gummies!' on camera for a cheque. but we know that she's also an incredibly performative fraud, so as soon as the cameras were off she definitely immediately downed a redbull and like, three cans of diet coke. prior to her wellness-influencer phase, i believe she probably did the whole unfailing-2016-go-viral-quick scheme of doing all kinds of gross food 'challenges' for a few minutes of brief youtube fame, including but not limited to the warheads super-sour challenge, the tide-pod challenge, and the cinnamon challenge. i think she's definitely also been through a gym-rat phase where her diet consisted entirely of unseasoned chicken, protein powder and creatine. and nothing will convince me that there's a single universe out there where julia doesn't have a vape constantly in her hand. she relies on that mint-leaf-honeydew-berry-kiwi vapour to live.

which leads me to believe she has consumed more weird/gross things on this planet than anybody else, has grown a near radioactive microbiome in her gut as a result of this, and become immune to practically anything including but not limited to dangerous toxins, poisons, chemicals and literal plastic. if owen is a human garbage disposal, julia is a human garbage INCINERATOR.

[velarisdusk]

Shadows at Twilight

Nesta & Azriel

word count: 2.3k content: [ platonic nesta & azriel, modern au, mention of substance abuse (cocaine), physical altercation, strong language, emotional conflict, family tension, mental health issues, mention of abandonment, mention of smoking (marijuana) ] summary: Azriel and Nesta's Thursday night smoke sessions become a lifeline. As tensions rise, the fragile balance they've been trying to maintain begins to falter. author's note: stoner nesta came to me in a dream but of course i had to make it depressing ✦ . Masterlist . ✦

The soft resonance of guitar strings filled Azriel's small apartment as the evening sun cast long shadows through the blinds. He sat on the edge of his worn couch, fingers absently plucking at the instrument while his eyes focused on the glowing screen of his laptop. With a heavy sigh, he closed the email—another rejection from a local venue.

“Thanks for your submission, but we're not looking for new acts at this time," Az muttered under his breath, mimicking the polite dismissal he'd read too many times before. He set the guitar aside and ran a hand through his dark hair, glancing at the clock on the wall. Nesta would be here soon.

He stood, stretching out the kinks in his back from hunching over his guitar for too long. As he moved to open a window, letting in the cool evening air, Azriel found himself thinking about how these Thursday nights had started — in the aftermath of Feyre, Rhysand, and Nyx's sudden disappearance. He recalled Nesta's frantic call that day, her voice strained with panic as she described the overflowing mailbox and the unanswered calls. She had demanded answers from him, but Azriel had been just as much in the dark.

The memory of that wellness check still felt surreal: entering the eerily quiet house with the police, only to find that impersonal note on the kitchen island. "We're leaving. Please don't look for us." Those words, so final and unexplained, had left a void in their lives that these smoke sessions had somehow started to fill. Az shook his head, pushing away the lingering questions. No use dwelling on it now. He was determined to keep the evening light.

The coffee table became a feast of their favorite munchies: salt and vinegar chips for Nesta, a mix of sweet and spicy nuts for himself, a couple of king-size Reese's cups they'd inevitably fight over, and some sour gummy worms for good measure. Az placed two cans of Cherry Coke next to Nesta's spot and a ginger ale by his. He knew they'd probably end up DoorDashing Taco Bell at some point—their crunchwrap cravings were pretty predictable—but it never hurt to be prepared. As Azriel pulled open the drawer beneath the table, revealing their well-used smoking paraphernalia, a knock sounded at the door.

“S’open!” he called out, quickly arranging the grinder, lighter, papers, and a small jar of pungent bud around the centerpiece.

"Hey," she said, making a beeline for the couch. "Sorry I'm late. Work was absolute chaos today. You wouldn't believe the client I had to deal with." Her hands fluttered as she spoke, the words tumbling out faster than usual. Azriel watched as she sat down, noticing the slight tension in her shoulders and her perfectly manicured nails tapping a relentless rhythm on her knee.

“No worries,” he said, tone neutral as he rolled them a joint each. “Rough day?”

Nesta shrugged, reaching for the TV remote. “Nothing I couldn’t handle. Smiling Friends?”

Azriel leaned forward, his eyes narrowing as he angled his body to catch her eye. "Hey, are you sure you're alright? You seem... off."

Nesta's shoulders stiffened slightly. "I said I'm fine, Az. Can we just watch the show?"

As she turned to face him, irritation flickering across her features, Azriel's eyes widened. Even in the dim light of the apartment, he could see her pupils were blown. The realization hit him like a punch to the gut.

"Nes," he said, his voice low and careful, setting the joint down. "What did you take?”

Her defensiveness flared instantly. "What's it to you?"

Azriel's brow furrowed, a mix of concern and dry humor in his tone. "Well, I’d like to know if I should be ordering pizza or calling poison control. Seriously, what’s going on?” His eyes narrowed as he took in Nesta’s jittery movements, the slight sheen of sweat on her forehead. With her dilated pupils, the pieces clicked into place.

"Cocaine, Nesta? Really?" He ran a hand through his hair, frustration evident in his voice. “What were you thinking?”

Nesta's posture stiffened, her eyes flashing with defiance. "Oh, that's rich coming from you. Don't act all high and mighty."

He blinked, caught off guard. "What are you talking about?"

"Please," Nesta scoffed. "You think I don't know about your little pick-me-ups before gigs? You're such a hypocrite."

Azriel's jaw tightened, his voice low. "That's... that's different. I'm not spiraling like you are."

Nesta leaned forward, her eyes blazing. "Different how? Because you're a 'tortured artist'? Give me a break." She made air quotes, her movements sharp and exaggerated.

He stood abruptly, pacing a few steps before whirling back to face her. "I'm not the one making a walk of shame to work every other day, or calling my estranged sister from borrowed phones."

Nesta shot to her feet, matching his stance. "No, you're just wasting your life playing dive bars. At least I have a real job." Her fingers drummed rapidly against her thigh.

"At least I'm not throwing away a law career I worked so hard for," he retorted, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides.

Nesta's laugh was brittle as she threw herself back onto the couch. "You don't know anything about my work."

Azriel leaned against the wall, arms crossed. "I know you've been calling in sick more often. You told me yourself last week."

"So what? Everyone needs a mental health day now and then."

He remained against the wall for a moment, studying her with concern and frustration. Then, slowly, he pushed off and took a few steps toward her, closing some distance between them. His voice was low but firm as he continued. "A day, sure. But you're—"

"I'm what, Az?" Nesta interrupted, her voice rising as she crossed her arms tightly across her chest. "Enlighten me."

Azriel's eyes darkened, his voice steady but laced with frustration. "You're running from your problems. You're burying yourself in your work instead of actually facing them."

Nesta's jaw clenched. "You think I don't know that? At least I'm trying to keep it together. Unlike you, hiding behind your music and your so-called 'artistic struggles.'"

Azriel's hands clenched into fists at his sides. "Don't turn this around on me. Yeah, I’ve got shit going on, but I’m not self-destructing. I’m not jeopardizing my career and my relationships."

Nesta scoffed, her eyes flashing with defiance. "You’re one to talk about relationships. When was the last time you let anyone in? You’re just as closed off as I am."

He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. "This isn’t about me. It’s about you needing help. Real help. You can’t keep running, Nes."

Her expression crumbled for a split second before she masked it with anger. "And what do you suggest I do, huh? Therapy? Rehab? You think I haven’t considered those? It’s not that simple."

His voice softened slightly. "I know it’s not simple. But I care about you, and it hurts to see you like this. You don’t have to keep punishing yourself like this.”

Tears welled up in Nesta’s eyes, but she quickly blinked them away. "I don’t need your pity."

"It’s not pity," he said, his tone earnest. "It’s concern. It's love, Nesta. You’re family, and I can’t just stand by and watch you destroy yourself."

She turned away, hugging herself tightly. The silence stretched between them, tense and heavy. Finally, in a voice barely above a whisper, she said, "I called Feyre today..."

Az's expression hardened, a mix of concern and disappointment crossing his features. He didn't need to ask how she’d done it; he knew her pattern all too well. "Nesta," he said, his voice low and controlled, "you can't keep doing this. They clearly want space." Nesta's head snapped towards him, her eyes blazing.

"You don't know what they want! None of us do!" Her voice cracked with emotion.

Azriel's jaw clenched. "Maybe not, but I know they left for a reason. Have you considered that your constant attempts to reach her might be pushing her further away?"

Nesta's eyes flashed dangerously. "Don't you dare put this on me. You're just as lost without them as I am."

"At least I'm respecting their decision," Azriel countered, his voice low but intense. "Unlike you, I'm not harassing my coworkers for their phones or showing up to work high."

"Oh, please," Nesta scoffed. "You're not some paragon of virtue, Azriel. You're just better at hiding your mess."

Azriel took a step closer, his patience wearing thin. "My 'mess' isn't a nightly habit that’s consuming my life. Wake up, Nesta.”

Nesta's face contorted with rage and pain as she shot up off the couch and turned on him. "You think I don't realize that? You think I want to be like this?" Her voice rose to a near-shout. She paced like a caged animal, her fingers raking through her hair as she glared at Azriel. "I'm doing the best I can!"

His eyes flashed with frustration. "You want to know what I think? I think Elain was right."

Nesta met his gaze, her words low and tense. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I spoke to her last week," Azriel shot back, his voice hard. "She thinks you're the reason Feyre left. And you know what? I'm starting to agree with her."

"You don't know anything," Nesta snarled, her body coiled with tension.

Azriel stepped closer, his voice rising. "I know she was always cleaning up your messes. Always worrying about you. Elain thinks she finally got sick of it, and I can't blame her." His jaw clenched, hands curling into fists at his sides as he towered over her.

"Shut up," Nesta hissed, her hands clenching into fists. Though she had to tilt her head back to meet his gaze, the fury blazing in her eyes was no less intimidating. 

"Face it, Nesta. Your sister couldn't take it anymore.” His volume rose, each word more forceful than the last. “Your emotional walls, your recklessness, your unwillingness to change—it drove her away! And now you're doing the same thing to Elain!"

Nesta's face contorted with rage. "I said shut up!"

"Why? Because you can't handle the truth?" Azriel's words were cutting. "She told me she wishes you’d left instead; that we’d all be better off if—"

With a wordless cry of fury, Nesta lunged at him, her hands clawing towards his face.

Azriel's eyes widened in shock as he instinctively raised his arms to block her attack.

"Nesta, stop!" Azriel growled, catching her wrists. She twisted violently in his grip, her teeth bared in a snarl.

"Let go of me!" Nesta spat, trying to wrench free. Her eyes were wild, pupils still dilated from the cocaine. She kicked out, aiming for his shins.

Azriel grunted as her foot connected, but he held firm. "I'm not fighting you," he said, his voice strained but controlled. "You need to calm down."

"Calm down?" she shouted hysterically. "After the shit you just said? Fuck you!"

She threw her weight forward, attempting to headbutt him. Azriel barely dodged, releasing one of her wrists to push her back. She immediately swung at him with her free hand. "You piece of shit!" Nesta screamed, lashing out again. Azriel deflected another blow as she continued, "You don't know anything about me!"

Her attacks came in bursts, punctuated by her rage-filled words. "Fucking lowlife!" she spat, narrowly missing his jaw with a wild swing, her nails grazing his cheek.

"Damn it, Nesta!" Azriel hissed, feeling the sting. He used his greater strength to push her back against the wall, pinning her arms. "Is this what you want? To hurt me? To hurt yourself?"

Nesta writhed against his hold, her chest heaving. "You don't understand anything!" she shouted, her voice raw with emotion. "You think you're so much better than me, but you're just as fucked up!"

Azriel leaned in, his face inches from hers. His voice was low, intense. "I never said I wasn't. I’m not your enemy here, Nesta, I’m just trying to stop you from being your own.”

For a moment, they stood there, both breathing hard. Nesta's eyes darted around, like a cornered animal looking for escape. Then, abruptly, she went limp in his grasp.

"Let go," she said, her voice suddenly quiet and dull. "Just... let me go, Azriel."

Azriel hesitated, studying her face. Slowly, cautiously, he released her arms and took a step back.

"I'm leaving," she muttered, pushing past him towards the door.

"Your keys," he said firmly, extending his hand towards her. "Give them to me. You're not driving like this. Get a Lyft or something."

“What are you, my keeper?” Nesta scoffed. “Drove myself here, didn’t I…” she muttered under her breath. Her hand went to her pocket, then paused. For a second, Azriel thought she might make a run for it or lunge at him again. But then her shoulders slumped, and she pulled out her keyring, took her apartment key, turned towards him and dropped them into his palm without meeting his eyes.

She made for the door again. Azriel didn't try to stop her, but his voice followed her. "This isn't over, Nes. We need to talk about this when you're sober."

Nesta paused at the door, her hand on the knob. Without turning back, she said, "Don't count on it," and slammed the door behind her.

Azriel stood in the sudden silence of his apartment, the echo of the slamming door fading away. He ran a hand over his face, wincing as he touched the scratch on his cheek. Nesta’s keys felt heavy in his hand.

[mitzymossy33]

Jinx is my comfort character, here’s why;

So, ima be real with y’all for a second , I’m nit someone who likes to go on and on about trauma and dump my issues into other people, but I feel the need to post this, before we start, TW for mental illness, SA, childhood trauma, etc. Read at your own risk. So, Jinx, is my comfort character, and you may be asking why? While I don’t have schizophrenia or schitzo-affective disorder or anything else that would enable me to have hallucinations, Unless you account taking 12 melatonin gummies in one night, (I did that ONE time, ONE, okay?). But anyways, enough with the jokes, while I personally don’t have hallucinations, my mom did. A little backstory, my mom has pretty severe mental issues stemming from lots of childhood trauma, first off, SA, her dad left, she started smoking and doing drugs at like 11, got sent to a CATHOLIC boarding school labeled for troubled girls in the 80s-90s (you can tell how that went down) and whole lot of other stuff. Anyways, yeah, a lot. That’s why I feel for Jinx so much, her hallucinations, where erratic behavior, everything, because it feels so real, I’ve seen a bit of discussion on whether or not Jinx is a good representation f mental illness and I have to advocate for yes, I’ve seen first-hand what mental illness and trauma can do to a person, and it is not pretty. I remember days when I my mom used to hold me and ‘I can’t see you, I can’t see you’ and at the time I didn’t think much of it, but now that I understand what she went through, my stomach churns thinking about it. Most of my life my face probably looked distorted to her, even my dad’s did. Imagine a world where you can’t see the faces of your loved ones. Anyways, I appreciate the realism of Jinx, the delusions, the hallucinations, the mood swings, the impulsivity, everything, it’s just portrayed so tastefully and I could not be more grateful, with a lot of ‘crazy characters’ for example Harley Quin in the Birds of Prey movie, well, yes, she’s supposed to be crazy, she lacks actual mental illness, or it’s just played for laughs. It feels shallow. Watch a few Harley Quin scenes where she’s supposed to be acting unstable and you’ll see what I mean. The problem with the manic pixie dream girl, is that she lacks, well, mania. With Jinx, we see that, we don’t just see ‘oh haha crazy=funny=sexy’ we see her struggle, it’s scary, terrifying, all the other characters have to walk on eggshells often so she doesn’t go off the rails, like in the dinner scene, they all know one wrong move and someone ends up dead, and someone did. She flinches and reacts at hallucinations, which to others may seem odd, but it was the same with my mother, she would always grunt and put her arms up in a defensive position, reliving that pain, and that trauma over and over again. It’s genuinely sad, but unfortunately, you can’t just have someone be fixed, it’s a tragic reality, and that’s why Jinx’s behavior feels like a lunch in the gut.

Another thing is Jinx’s identity thing, and while my mom didn’t start going by a new name, I personally relate to it, you see, because of my mom’s mental illness, and me being homeschool by her until sixth grade, it caused me to not have the best childhood myself. After I got out, and started processing and realizing what happened, I wanted to escape, I did this through maladaptive daydreaming, escaping into my own world where I was a new person, free of of what happened, someone who went through much worse and still came out on top, and that gave me comfort, because if she could do it, why couldn’t I? Anyways, at my worst in my mental health, this got taken to a new extreme, I started hating my birth name, wanting to separate myself from it and be a new person entirely, I went Cass, Cassie, Cassandra, and Moss, until I settled on Mossy. It was my way of reclaiming my freedom, saying that I wasn’t that same little girl who was so isolated that covid felt like nothing changed. That I wasn’t that little girl who had to listen as my mom had mental breakdowns, as my parents relentlessly fought, as my mom shook me and told me god’s an A-hole. It was a separation of identity, kill the past, embrace the future. And while I don’t hate my birth name anymore, I still choose to go by Mossy online for sake of privacy, as well as it just being my nickname. I feel the need for freedom from the Jinx and Powder thing. I love how realistic Jinx is, and I can only wish for her to have a happy ending, even though that is extremely unlikely. But, if you stuck it out this far, thank you for sticking around and I hope you didn’t mind my bit of trauma-dumping, just really wanted to pour my personal views and experiences into the amazing show that is Arcane!

Anyways, I hope you like my analysis, I wanted to go more in depth, but my memory was fogging up due to my brain blocking out what happened. Maybe I’ll edit this or update it somewhere in the future, but for now, this is what I got.

[contentment-of-cats]

Quick notes on Double Monday

Double Monday is any Tuesday after a holiday on Monday.

Part of the problems with my body predate the cancer. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 2007. People with FMS have less collagen in soft tissues and that may contribute to 'microinjuries.' There's a promising study that shows collagen peptides might help with the pain and stiffness. I'm giving it a shot.

Since I am missing a large potion of my guts, the parts that absorb water and nutrients, I am having trouble with nutrition. Doc recommended liquid, softgel, or even gummy vitamins and supplements that absorb more quickly.

Am hypothyroid. They do not need to zap your thyroid directly to knock it out, and when I was in my teens I was in two car accidents where I was run through one of the early CT machines. I caught a LOT of radiation. In my late 20s, more health issues meant more CT scans for mad migraines, PCOS and endometriosis, and meningitis (get the vax, kids, it's not fun).

Beanie is still recovering. Purrs a little, sleeps, then goes on a mad tear of Naughty Kitty behavior. Everyone wants to be in the Special House and eat Special Food.

I'm going back to eating patterns that make my body happy. Coffee in the morning, brunchish at @2:00, and dinner @8:00.

MRI Friday for Chest/Abdomen/Pelvis. Boo.

My dreams have been really strange and vivid, making no sense.